Fly the Arbitrary Skies

Monday, April 12, 2010 (times approximate)

7:40 a.m. - Arrived at Denver International Airport and printed out boarding pass to San Francisco.
7:50 a.m. - Got into long but fast-moving security line. Carried on overhead-size roll-aboard, thin laptop case and small purse. No problem, even though the limit is now supposedly two pieces.
9:00 a.m. - United Flight 498 scheduled for departure.
9:30 a.m. - Captain announced that airplane had "issues" and he wasn't taking it anywhere until maintenance had looked at it.
9:50 a.m. - Maintenance looked. Airplane "issues" had not been resolved, so PAX asked to take their belongs and proceed to Gate 48.
10:10 a.m. - Gate 48 turned out to be Gate 45 (or vice versa), where (fortunately) the same type of aircraft was waiting -- fortunate because all seat assignments were still valid. To its credit, the airline was trying to expedite transit for PAX heading from SFO to Asia.
1:00 p.m. - Arrived at SFO something like two hours late, wondering whether United would give PAX vouchers for, say, $25 or $50 off future flights. Silly me.

Friday, April 16, 2010 (times approximate)

1:05 p.m. - Arrived at SFO for United Flight 720, departing for Denver at 2:26. Printed out boarding pass.
1:15 p.m. - No line at nearby security. Carried on same overhead-size roll-aboard, thin laptop case and small purse. TSA gatekeeper told me that I had to check the roll-aboard because I had three pieces while only two were permitted.
1:16 p.m. - Paid UAL $25 to check the same piece of luggage that I had been permitted to carry on a few days earlier. Guy who tagged the bag asked, "How are you today?" I replied, "I was better before the TSA told me that I had to check this." "That's because it's too bulky to fit into the overhead," said he. Huh!
2:15 p.m.: Along with all the other instructions, flight attendant announced that heavy bags must be stored on the sides of the overhead bins and lighter ones in the middle. That was a new one on me.
3:00 p.m.: Requested Diet Coke during beverage service. Flight attendant gave me one of those squishy plastic cups that spill over when the slightest pressure is applied. It was like an iceberg, with 90 percent of the ice below the rim and the rest mounded above it. I asked her to please dump half of the ice. "What's wrong with it?" she all but snarled. I explained. She said that since I already had taken possession of it, she couldn't take it back and would have to give me another one. Ferchissakes, she was standing right there with her beverage cart. I did not view this as an imposition, but her demeanor implied that it was. I thanked her anyway.
5:35 p.m. - Flight landed -- half an hour early. Great! All was forgiven. Even though I was seated back in Row 33, I figured I could still make th 6:20 p.m. SkyRide to Boulder.
5:55 p.m. - Waiting at baggage carousel. No luggage.
6:00 p.m. - Still waiting.
6:10 p.m. - A few bags arrived. Then nothing, except an announcement that there was a bag jam below and the rest of the bags would be arriving soon.
6:20 p.m. - Still waiting. Some bags had come up, but not mine.
6:30 - My bag arrived, so the TSA checker's refusal to let me carry on exactly the same three items I had carried on earlier in the week cost me $25 and an hour of my time.

Sigh!