True TSA Tale: Read It to Believe It

Does TSA stand for Transportation Security Agency - or for Totally Screwed "Ap"?

A few weeks ago, I posted my experience of having a mostly used-up tube of sunscreen confiscated because a Transportation Security Agency screener said that a 100-milliliter container is the limit for a carry-on item, not the 110 ML I had with me -- even though there was nowhere near 110 ML of lotion in it. That was only irritating. My more recent experience was amusing, astonishing or horrifying, depending on how you view the entire process of airport security.

Early on Thursday afternoon, I checked in at the Great Lakes Aviation counter at Denver International Airport for a flight to Telluride. I didn't really look at my boarding pass, and neither, evidently, did the TSA agent charged with comparing boarding passes with picture IDs. Because of heavy regional snow, I was eventually switched from the cancelled Telluride flight to one going to Cortez. In the process of changing flights, one of the several podium agents who looked at my original boarding pass finally noticed something odd and asked, "Who is Christopher Weber?" I had no idea who he was other than being an alphabetic neighbor, coincidentally with the same initials. Mostly, I was astonished that I had passed TSA's so-called security procedures and a couple of gate agents before anyone noticed that I could not possibly be Christopher Weber.

After that DIA underperformance, the screeners at Telluride Regional Airport (TEX, right), from which I flew yesterday, made up for it with excessive zeal. At this time of year, the only commercial service is Great Lakes' two daily flights using 19-passenger Beech 1800 aircraft. Four (4) TSA screeners were on duty for a daily passenger count that cannot possibly exceed 38. Of the 11 or 12 of us on my flight, three of us were "selected" for extra screening. Our checked bags were opened and riffled through, as were our carry-ons. Many items removed from our luggage were swabbed for explosives or some other lethal substance. We were all patted down. I guess that quartet had to justify their underworked existence at TEX at this time of year.

After we were all cleared and were waiting to board the Denver-bound flight, I started telling someone about the Christopher Weber mix-up at DIA. A fellow sitting within earshot said, "Was that on Thursday? I'm Christopher Weber, and when I got to the airport, Great Lakes told me that I had already checked in."